01/31/2009 "Conversation"

This will be my last post for January 2009 :[

Well today something tragic in my family happened, I rather not discuss full details, but it got my mother and I talking in a deep conversation. It was a conversation that I never really thought about talking about with her. My mother had me when she was about 43 years old, which back then was kind of old to have children. She didn't even realize she was pregnant because her body was changing and didn't really think anything of it. She went to the doctors and found out she was about three months pregnant. The doctors told her that the chances of her baby not having any disabilities or anything was very slim. They did a test on her that would determine whether or not I would be missing any of my legs, arms etc or if I would have down syndrome or anything. The test came back about two weeks later and it was 100% good that nothing would be wrong with me.

I asked my mom "If something was wrong with me (the baby) would you have kept it?" Her response was.. "Honestly, probably not, I was kind of old to have a kid, but now the early 40's is kind of young." It kind of made me realize wow, what if I wasn't here, what if my mom didn't go through with the pregnancy, there would be NO Samantha Messner living in Lindenwold, New Jersey. I took in a deep breath and that breath just triggered to my brain not to take life for granted, because seriously any day can be your last. I am glad that I had this talk with my mother because I believe it made us a little bit closer. I love her and I'm thankful that she brought me on this Earth!