01/31/2009 "Conversation"

This will be my last post for January 2009 :[

Well today something tragic in my family happened, I rather not discuss full details, but it got my mother and I talking in a deep conversation. It was a conversation that I never really thought about talking about with her. My mother had me when she was about 43 years old, which back then was kind of old to have children. She didn't even realize she was pregnant because her body was changing and didn't really think anything of it. She went to the doctors and found out she was about three months pregnant. The doctors told her that the chances of her baby not having any disabilities or anything was very slim. They did a test on her that would determine whether or not I would be missing any of my legs, arms etc or if I would have down syndrome or anything. The test came back about two weeks later and it was 100% good that nothing would be wrong with me.

I asked my mom "If something was wrong with me (the baby) would you have kept it?" Her response was.. "Honestly, probably not, I was kind of old to have a kid, but now the early 40's is kind of young." It kind of made me realize wow, what if I wasn't here, what if my mom didn't go through with the pregnancy, there would be NO Samantha Messner living in Lindenwold, New Jersey. I took in a deep breath and that breath just triggered to my brain not to take life for granted, because seriously any day can be your last. I am glad that I had this talk with my mother because I believe it made us a little bit closer. I love her and I'm thankful that she brought me on this Earth!

01/30/2009 "Kick Off Party"

On Wednesday, January 28, 2009 Lindenwold High School had their First Annual Kick Off Party for the Senior Seminar Project! It was a lot of fun and everyone's sponsor and mentor that could attend attended. My sponsor couldn't attend, but my mom and Mrs. Distasi were there. My mom and I have been on the committee since last year so I was pretty excited to get the kick off party started! All of the students had to talk for about 20 seconds each and talk about exactly what they wanted to do for their project. All of the students did a great job talking and didn't let their nervousness get in the way. Mr. Abrams and Mr. Snyder did a great job organizing the event and I know that next year's seniors are going to have just as much fun as we are now!

01/27/2009 My third day at Bancroft

So today was my third day a Bancroft! Each day I go there I seem to like it more and more. The children are so wonderful and smart. Today I worked one on one with a student and it was so much fun, she didn't mind whatsoever. I thought she was going to throw a tantrum or something because she doesn't see me that often, however, she didn't! We worked on saying words like... "boy" and "girl" and everyday signs like "stop" and "go". I also went to gym with the students like I do everyday, today there were only three students in my class. My class and another class played each other in bowling and MY CLASS WON! haha. Today, I felt like I definitely interacted with the students a lot more and I loved that feeling. My two sponsors were suppose to come to the Kick Off Event Party for the Senior Seminar Project however, they are unable to make it now :(. Today was just a great day and I'm looking forward to next Tuesday!

01/25/2009 -- "Prayers for Bobby"

I just got back from my sister's house and while there I saw a movie on Lifetime called "Prayers for Bobby" it was such a sad, yet strong movie. In "Prayers for Bobby," Mary Griffith is a devout Christian who raises her children with the conservative teachings of the Presbyterian Church. However, when her son Bobby confides to his older brother he may be gay, life changes for the entire family after Mary learns about his secret. While Bobby's father and siblings slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, Mary believes God can cure him of what she considers his 'sin' and persuades Bobby to pray harder and seek solace in church activities in hopes of changing him.


Desperate for his mother's approval, Bobby does what is asked of him, but through it all, the church's apparent disapproval of homosexuality causes him to grow increasingly withdrawn and depressed. Guilty over the pain he is causing Mary, Bobby moves away, yet hopes that some day his mother will accept him. His subsequent depression and self-loathing intensifies as he blames himself for not being the 'perfect' son and is driven to suicide.
Faced with their tragedy, Mary begins to question her faith when she receives no answers from her pastor concerning her devastating loss. Through her long and emotional journey, Mary slowly reaches out to the gay community and discovers unexpected support from a very unlikely source.

The film is based on the 1995 Leroy Aarons book of the same name. Written by Louie Neira. The movie was based on True Events and it is something that touched me tremendously. My best friend is gay and I'm so glad that he has overwhelming support from his family and friends. No person gay or lesbian should be drawn to suicide because they feel like they don't belong and aren't accepted. I cried from the beginning to the end of this movie and I knew as soon as I got home I was going to blog about it. The movie based on actual events happened in the 1970's and so much has changed from then. However, their are still people out there who aren't for gay rights, who are racist, and who HATE CHANGE! And those people need to MOVE ON it's the 21st century and everyone in today's society needs to feel like they belong!

01/22/2009 the SATs blow!

So every high school student in the world has to take some sort of a standardized test. The United States has to take a test known as the SATs or the ACTs. The more common of the two is the SATs. The test is a test that usually a high school junior or senior take in order to receive high scores and send them to their colleges of choice. Most colleges want a combination of math and critical reading to be at the least a 1000. However, for those students, like myself that didn't reach that high getting into college isn't that easy. It seems as if every well know college now-a-days requests all of their prospective students to take the SATs or ACTs at least once. I took the SATs twice and the ACTs once and didn't do that well on either of them. It's not that I'm dumb it's just that it's so hard for me to sit down for 4 hours and take a test. This Saturday, January 24, 2009 I will be taking the SATs one last time. I took out a SAT book from the library that I've been looking over to help me this Saturday, so I hope it works out in my favor. I plan to score a lot higher than I did the previous times, so wish me lucckkkkk :]

01/21/2008 Random Bloggg :]

Heeeey to all of my blogger friends! Whats up!? Well today in English class, my teacher said we can all just write about anything that is on our mind! FRiDAAAAYYY is on my mind dude!

This Friday, is the first Philadelphia Wings Lacrosse Home Game and boy am I stoked :) A few of my friends are suppose to go so I can't wait! Last season they made it to the playoffs, but lost their first playoff game :( Athan Iannucci, an offensive player, broke the lacrosse record last year with 80 some goals, out goaling any lacrosse player in NLL history! I give him props for being such an outstanding athlete, I also heard that he does a lot of charitable events in his home town in Canada, so he needs to keep doing what he does! Something else that is in his favor is that I believe he is extremely HOT haha. Well I will keep all you bloggers posted over the weekend about how the Philadelphia Wings do on their first home game of the season!

01/20/2009

Today is Tuesday and I was suppose to go to Bancroft for the Senior Project, but I was unable to make it because my grand mom asked me last week to come over and watch the Inauguration. I emailed my sponsor Tammy to let her know, but she never got back to me. Grr... I hope she got it and just didn't have the time to respond. Well anyways, today I went to my grand mom's house and we watched Obama's Inauguration, boy that man knows how to speak! He speaks in a way that can draw anyones attention no matter what your doing at any moment. My grand mom was so thankful to see him get sworn in, she even said to me in her riggidy old voice .. "Samanthaaaaa, I'm so glad I'm witnessing a black man in office, I never thought I'd live to see this day!" I looked over to her and seen a few tears shed from her eyes. It was such a touching moment between the two of us and I'll NEVER forget it. Obama has touched so many lives and doesn't even realize it. He's a strong, trust worthy man and I'm excited to see what he can do for the United States of America!

01/16/2009 - I met new friends tonight and they're wonderful :)

It's 11:32 P.M. and I decided to right this blog about FRiENDS! Friends are so hard to come by now-a-days and I'm so thankful to have all of the wonderful friends that I have. I just got back from McDonald's after going to the mall earlier with my two friends Natalie and Amberlee. There are so many different people in today's society and it's hard to come across real people. We met a few of Amberlee's friends' at the mall and they are people who I normally wouldn't hangout with, but after getting to know them I realized there AWESOME :) It doesn't matter what a person looks like or wears it's truly about who they are on the inside. Finding friends isn't difficult, but calling them a true friend has a totally different meaning to it. Tonight, I realized that there are so many different people out there, but in their own way, there special and someone loves them for them, not the person they want them to be. I had a great Friday night and I met so many wonderful people and I'm so thankful for that. So to everyone who is reading this, approach someone you think you normally wouldn't because chances are they aren't as bad as you think. Just like Hannah Montana would say, "Nobody's Perfect" but as long as they are themselves and happy you should be happy :)

01/09/2009 My Three New Years Resolutions!

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? What is your definition of a resolution? Do you actually make a New Year’s resolution and keep it? Do you strive for a resolution that you know you won’t be able to keep? Think to yourself, a resolution is a promise to yourself so it should not be too hard to keep. I once overheard a person talking and he said that most people take life for granted because we’re rushing to get too much accomplished. We get out of high school, go to college, and mostly get stuck doing a career we don’t want to do. What’s the rush? Everyone just needs to calm down and live life one day at a time! We should take full advantage of life. We should make resolutions to please ourselves, not others and I think that’s what most people do. Thusly, I have three resolutions that will enhance my life for my benefit.
The first resolution demands that I maintain my 3.4 GPA. I plan to achieve this goal because if I don’t get into my university of choice, which is West Virginia University, I plan to take full advantage of the NJSTARS program. In order to be eligible for the NJSTARS program, students must be in the top 20% of their graduating class and as of this moment I’m in it, but I’m really cutting it close. My freshmen and sophomore year I did pretty well, but last year I struggled in Algebra II, even ending up failing the last quarter, which tremendously hurt my GPA. During the first quarter of my senior year, I almost maintained honor roll, having only one C in Physics. If I see myself start to slack in any of my classes, all I have to do is think about my future. College costs a lot of money and its money that I don’t have so the NJSTARS program would benefit me to the fullest.
My second resolution will benefit me to a large extent. I plan to not judge others before actually getting to know them. I judge people cruelly when I first meet them and that’s not a great quality that I want to maintain. It’s a quality that’s followed me throughout high school and I hate it. If I meet a person for the first time, and all they say to me is “hi” I automatically judge them, and think that they’re rude because they didn’t try to start a conversation with me. Instead of thinking like that, I need to be a little more positive and think of reasons why the person may not have started a conversation with me. It could be for multiple reasons: one, they could be too shy and two, they may be in a rush to get somewhere. So to fix this judgmental problem that I have faced all throughout high school, next time, when I meet people I could try to talk to them first and in the conversation see if they are in a rush to get somewhere. If so, let them get to their business if not, I started a sentence starter so it’s not their turn to continue it.
Finally, my third resolution will be to help my mom more around the house. I love her so much and I feel like I never actually show her; all I do is tell her. Usually all I do around the house is unload the dishwasher, vacuum occasionally, and take the trash bag out of the trash, but never actually put it in the trash can. To be completely honest, my mom does all the laundry and I don’t even know how to use a washing machine. I’m a senior in high school and I don’t even know how to work a washing machine, that’s ridiculous! And now it’s 2009 and I plan to change that! What if I do go away to college, my mom can’t do my laundry, so it’s time I learn! I plan to learn how to use the washing machine and actually do my own laundry and my mother’s! I plan to take the trash bag out of the trash can, like I have been doing, but now I will walk it to the trash can. I still plan to unload the dishwasher and vacuum even when my mom doesn’t ask me too. I think doing these tasks will prove to my mom that I’m ready for the “real-world” something I think she’s quite frightened for me to enter hence the fact, I don’t even do my own laundry!
In conclusion, I would like to end this with a quote that Abraham Lincoln once said, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." And that is quote that I plan to live my life by! Also Benjamin Franklin once stated that "How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them." And guess what? The resolutions that I have previously stated, I will mend them!

01/14/2009 The Life I want by the time I'm 28.

Dear Teacher,
Hey! How how are you!? Are you still teaching? I told you I would write to you in the future and I am! I'm 28 years old now, crazy right? Once I graduated college majoring in Public Relations/Communications I got a once in a lifetime opportunity in Manhattan, New York. It's for Estee Lauder and I'm the Executive Director of the Public Relations Department. I absolutely love it and I couldn't be any happier. I live in a sky-rise apartment building something I've always wanted to live in since I was a little kid. What have you been up too? Let's meet up and do lunch sometime. Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks!

Samantha

"Blog Visits" 01/14/2009

I visited the following people's blogs... Jamie Carter, Aliccia Hans, BriOnna Scotton, Mr. Abrams, and Desiree Medina. It was so cool to just see how people have reflected back on their life and how they currently feel in present time. One thing that I admire so much about BriOnna is that she is so truthful about how she feels and I admire that quality. Her blog on love is so deep and so her. Mr. Abrams blog was about a book "The Book Thief" and honestly it's pretty hard for me to pick up a book and get interested in it. Something that I like to learn about in History Class is the Holocaust and that's what the "The Book Thief" resembles, so I plan to read that soon. Jamie read a book regarding anger and anger is something that I believe a lot of teenagers face these days. Whether it's school related or not people face anger all over the world. And the book that Ms. Carter is reading conveys how to cope with anger in different ways, not in DANGEROUS ways. I think commenting on people's blogs helped me get to know everyone a little bit better.

12/13/2008 Bancroft Day 2

I am very excited and proud to say that my Senior Seminar experience at Bancroft was a lot better than last Tuesday. I think it might have been a little better because there wasn't as much staff as last time so I didn't feel like I was in everyon's way. I was there from 12:30 to 2:30 again like last week and ever Tuesday I will be there for the same time. When I get there the kids are usally getting ready for gym. Today, when I got there the students were watching the Lion King and then I walked them to gym with the teachers and particiapted in a game of basketball with them. After gym class and basketball we went back to the classroom, last week I was working with three children, today there was four. They behaved very well. As soon as we got back to the classroom we did a little bit of math. The class got to taste eight different kind of chips and decide whch one was their favorite and in doing that we all made a bar graph displaying the data. After that it was hygiene time, where all of the students washed their hands and brushed their teeth. Something that I was very surprised to hear was when a boy in the class told a teacher to "s**k his d***". To think that he even knows what that means is obsurd, but he doesn't know any better, so the teacher told him to stop and he did! After hygiene time, we read a few books and went on the computer. One of the students in the class drew me a picture of Elmo and it made my day :) ; the picture is show around my text! 2;30 flewby so fast and I walked the students to their buses then left. I'm glad that I stuck with Bancroft because it was SO much better than last week. And I know that I have MANY more great times to come!

01/09/2009 If I had a year in which I could do anything I wanted, I would...

If I had a year in which I could do anything I wanted, I would... go to Europe and and study the architecture there and bring my mom. My mom's mom was born in Florence, Italy and it was when my grandmother came to the United States when she met her husband. He died November of 2004, but I remember him like it was yesterday. I love my mom so much and I feel like I never actual show her, all I do is tell her. You know that saying "actions speak louder than words", I believe in that. I think if I could take her on a vacation to Europe, and Italy where her mother is from, she'd be so star-struck. My mother and I once watched a documentary on Venice, Italy, the town in surrounded by water and you need to take gondolas to get around. The town looked absolutely gorgeous and I would love for her to see it. Also in general, Europe itself is so fasinating, the architecture is so explicit and detailed to the tee and I think it would be a wonderful place to take her. In that year we would go on vacation to every country and Europe and obviously take our time because we have a year to get it accomplished. We would take the train through the Austrian plateaus, take the gondolas to go food shopping in Venice, and even ride a moped on the small streets of France. I think it would be a wonderful experience for us both, if only it was real....

01/09/2009 Connection to a book - Wayne W. Dyer

There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne W. Dyer :)

The book I am starting to read in my English class is called "There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" by Wayne W. Dyer. It lets people know that it's ok to feel down and it's ok to be upset. There's nothing worse than holding on to something when you know it only hurts you in the long run. When Abraham Lincoln saw that his conuntry was facing a hardship he wrote, "I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go." It was then when he decided to turn to God and face that it is only he who can help us "let go and let God" helps when a person is recovering from a hardship. Religion is practiced all over the world and it's up to today's generation to make it last!

"Project Exploration"

If I had the chance in school to become an expert about ANYTHING it would be to become an expert on Special Education. Now-a-days teaching is a tough industry, its so competetive. And to get a degree in Special Education is a lot harder. Special Education teachers are in very high demand, but not a lot of people want to get into that field for some reason.
Instead of learning more about regular teachers I would like to learn more about Special Education teachers and how their classroom functions. One of the teachers in my school runs a Special Education class and I stop by every now and then and say hi to the students, I know most of them very well. Its the best feeling in the world when one of those students ask me how my day was or anything along them lines, because they don't really interact with any other students.
I think Special Education teachers are in high demand because people are scared, they don't know what exactly they'd be getting themselves into. However, people shouldn't think like that! Students with special needs are still students and we shouldn't treat them any differently because if it. They are just like everyday students, except they need a little more help and there's NOTHING wrong with that! I'm probably the dumbest person you'll ever meet when it comes to math, but I still try my hardest and when things get tough I don't give up and neither do students with special needs.
I want to be the teacher in a classroom where the students absolutely love to come to school and don't want it to end. I think whether a classroom is boring or not is honestly based on the teacher. If the teacher is blah and soft-spoken a student might have the tendancy to fall asleep. But if the teacher is bam bam bam ready to go and outspoken they grasp the students attention more and that's the type of teacher I hope to be. Like William Arthur Ward stated "the mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." And I plan to be that GREAT teacher!

01/05/2009 "Project Exploration" (my experience at Bancroft)

Today is Tuesday, January 6th, 2009. I just wanted to blog on the fact that today was my first day with my sponsor. The sponsor that I have choosen isn't one that I am to follow, but she will lead me to other people such as teachers, aids, occupational therapists, social workers, and physical therapists. I started my voluntering today at Bancroft in Haddonfield and it was such a wonderful experience. Bancroft is a place for children and adults that have special needs and need help doing everyday activities. I observed a room today with three students between the ages of 13-15 and they function at a level of a 4-5 year old. When I first met them they were very welcoming, but shy at the same time. I was with the group of students from 12:30 to 2:30 when I first got introduced to them they were in gym class (they have gym two days a week), music one day, and art the other day. When the students were finished in gym class we went to the classroom and worked on a worksheet about polar bears! Did you know that a polar bear changes to the color brown in summer time? I never knew that! Intresting huh? After the class completed the worksheet one of the students had some one on one time with the occupational therapist. I watched them swing on the swings and play with play-do. I let the occupational therapist and the student be so I went back to the classroom and observed the other two students. And then before I knew it, it was 2:30 and I helped one of the aids walk one of the students to the bus.

12/05/2009; how to grade on blogger dude!

One thing I never thought I'd be intrested in was blogging. One day my English teacher told us we were going to start and I was like "eeeehh, I'm not too sure about that", but with a little bit of practice and time I started to enjoy it. I think in our English class blogging should be graded on the appearance and quantity of the work. Blogging just shouldn't be ching ching than done, it should take time and effort. You can tell through the appearance of a person's blog whether it was carefully done or rushed. It wouldn't be fair if you gave someone an A if they just had a blah background compared to someone with an outstanding looking background. Nor would the person with the outstanding background think that was fair considering they took a lot more time in creating their blog. So I think the grading of a blog should be determined on appearance and quanity, the length of the topic given.

1/2/2009 - first blog on blogger

Hey everyone on blogger :] This is my first blog on here, so I'm pretty excited. In my English class, we are currently scratching out the whole paper and pencil aspect of journal writing and moving on to the blogging aspect. I just finished my page and I love how it looks. I just wanted to let everyone know why exactly I created a blog; this is not my personal blog and I don't have one. This is strictly used for English class and that is it. Thankkkkksss and I hope everyone has had a superb breaaaakkkk and wonderful holiday and new year!

12-18-2008

I am very excited about the Senior Project class this year this was pretty much all I was looking forward to my junior year. I start the project January 5, 2008 at Bancroft in Haddonfield. It's a school attended by children with disabilities, and when I get older, working with disabled children is something that I'm considering. This class has given me the opportunity to see if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. There's nothing like going to work everyday and absolutely dreading it. I want to have a job that I love to go to everyday. I think this could possibly be the job for me! I'm so excited to just start the rest of the year and see where my future will take me, and I think this class will help me find where exactly my future will be.

12/17/2008 Entry when I didn't have a blog!

At this current moment I feel like journal writing is bologna. All I want to do is get a blog on www.thoughts.com and for some bizarre reason they won’t send me a conformation email. I would love to blog, I feel like blogging and I would get along great. I never blogged before and I love English class, so blogging in English class would be sweet! I’m looking around the room and I see people writing their blog with a fancy layout and all I’m doing is writing in ordinary Microsoft Office 2003. Does that sound fun? Because it’s not! I want to blog.I think journaling will help me with Senior Project, because I wouldn’t have to worry about carrying paper and a writing utensil around with me I could just open up my blog and write. Also instead of e-mailing it or writing it on paper people all around the world can view what I write just through my blog. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could get an account on thoughts? It would be awesome because I could just login and write how I feel that day and be done with it. For instance, today if I had a blog account I would write about what the Senior Project actually is, because if people view my blog they might not understand what exactly it is. However, I can’t write about that, because I don’t have a blog!